I have been avoiding these types of posts because I’ve been a little embarrassed to admit my faults and failures, but it’s time. I owe it to my readers and to myself to be completely honest and up front about wight loss. I don’t want people to think this is a cake walk– pun intended– because it’s not. But it can be done correctly, and you can keep the weight off permanently.
I write about health, nutrition and workouts, and I am here to tell you that behind the computer screen is just another human who wants to eat Ice Cream for breakfast and order pizza at 11am. I struggle with my body image, my diet, my workouts, just like everyone else. I haven’t reached my goal wight. But I’m still trying. I still get up every time I fall with the intention of being a little better.
Since forever, I have used the Holidays as an excuse to eat massive amounts of processed sugars, which are my weakness. Again, this year I devoured little Marshmallow Santas, Homemade Brownies, and those little cupcakes that have red and green frosting from Walmart. At the time, the instant gratification was worth it, but looking back I always have regrets. That’s not the way I plan to live the rest of my life, in regret.
I’ve also been failing at keeping a workout schedule. I workout when it’s convenient, so Christmas Eve, Christmas, Sydnee’s Birthday were all out of the question, along with numerous days where a movie and a blanket were more convincing. I have picked up speed with my workouts, and knocked out 4 over the past week. As of lately, that’s a big accomplishment.
A lot of it is due to the fact that I have little access to new workout content. The 21 Day Fix is getting incredibly old and redundant, and I’ve just been too lazy to write up new workouts. Excuse #1243. I used to use Fitness Blender, which is a completely free to use website loaded with hundreds of full length workout videos you can stream from your phone, computer, or wherever you have internet access. Welp, there’s my problem– we have limited data internet out here in BFE, an I can’t afford to be steaming videos when my internet is already one of my most expensive utilities. Anyhow, I have been working exceptionally hard this last week to compile a whole notebook of workouts. Currently, Tabatas are my favorite. They seem to go by really quick, and I always finish with a curse word and a soaked T-shirt. If you haven’t go get my FREE 7 Days of Equipment Free Workouts Download.
Anyways, I’ve just been slacking overall. Somehow I have managed to maintain my weight loss, losing and gaining the same 5 pounds over and over again. This morning I stepped on the scale and was a healthy 121lbs. My goal is about 110– don’t fall over in your chair, I’m 4’10”.
I usually avoid New Year’s Resolutions because they seem to doom me to failure, but not this year. I’m not going into 2016 with a negative mindset. I’m going to have a ‘try and do what I can everyday’ mindset. My goal is to let go of self doubt, and stop being so hard on myself when I eat a cupcake or watch Home for the five millionth time with my daughter instead of cleaning or working out. I am not a robot. I will make mistakes, but I won’t give up.
I know it’s not about the weight, and I still have some work to do on the whole ‘not focusing on the scale’ thing. I want to legitimately be healthy and make healthy choices for myself and my family, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to look my best and feel sexy in the body I’ve dreamed of. I want to appreciate what my body has done for me, especially since I put it through hell in my late teens and early twenties. I AM proud of how far I’ve come.
AND THEN I get an email from Pizza Hut. =/
I’m off to squeeze in a workout before my mom comes to visit for a few days, because chances are high that I will not be doing much physical activity during that time.